You Will Fail
by Spider RedNight
Summary: Arkham City Riddler interview tapes. Rated T because regardless of what I write, the game was T so it's fair. No pairings, only interviews. :3
1. Taped Interview I

_Well, I did it. I'm not QUITE sure, but I think I might be among the first to submit anything for Arkham City. Now, I put it in Arkham Asylum because we all know that not enough love is distributed to our favourite video games, so they're not going to make a separate group for Arkham City. I may email 'em asking them to add characters to the list, but that will be determined._

_Until then, you're stuck with me interpreting the four (YES, there's only four in Arkham City. -sob-) interview tapes from the Riddler in Arkham City. The first one's a gimme seeing as how it was online before the game was even out. I won't venture into spoiler territory... That is, if you've already gotten all four tapes, and that takes a lot of riddles to solve. Heck, I don't even think you get the fourth tape until you deal with the Riddler. I may be wrong, no need to comment saying so._

_ANYWHO. Enjoy. It's short for now because it's different working with three different people and you're telling the story from the point of view of only one. If people don't like it, please comment and tell me before I screw up any more. xD_

* * *

><p>"…Fret… everything is under… I promise." A frustrated grunt as electric zapping could be heard faintly. Slender hands worked themselves around wires and typed complex key codes into seemingly undecipherable password slots. The sentences were still blurry.<p>

A twist of wire.

"…I don't trust you…the pain…" More static. Another short-tempered sigh. Was he getting closer? Typing in another code as wires were hooked to modems onto the computers that littered the space. A small, brief spark lit up the dark, green illuminated room and reflected off his slightly purple-tinted lenses. He reached up and tampered with the small bug in his ear briefly. Was it working now? He glanced up at the television screen to affirm. Still static and the one of the only sources in the room that wasn't green or black. He continued to tamper

"Continue…take the medication." Almost there! A few more quick, adept strokes, and-

"But-"

"It is late, Mr. Mayor. You're tired. You need your sleep." He leaned back, sighing with success in his sheer genius and ability to tap into something so mundane so quickly. He had access to everything and anything he wanted, certainly not limited to the wire of one Hugo Strange. This was good; they seemed to be wrapping up their conversation. Just as he planned.

"Of course," Sharp replied meekly. "I need my sleep." He scoffed. Was this really as easy as Strange made it out to be? Well, maybe it was just-

"You will hang up, now." Strange commanded, a trance-like tone flowing through his strong, deep voice.

"I will hang up, now," Sharp repeated almost in a drone before he could hear the click of the receiver. Wow, it DID work.

"Imbecile," Strange muttered. He took this opportunity to chime in.

"I couldn't have put it better myself," Rang a new voice, a fluid voice. It sound confident and sure, yet clever and intelligent.

"What? How _dare_ you enter my office!" Strange snarled dangerously. He scoffed quietly.

"Oh, I'm not in your office," He replied nonchalantly, leaning back and viewing the screen that he could see Strange's face on. "And please don't insult me by attempting to trace this broadcast. You will fail," He exhaled, viewing his nails as if they were now more interesting than Strange.

"I take it I am talking to Mister Edward Nigma," Strange deduced. He could see Strange lean back in his chair and place his fingers together meticulously as he spoke. Edward Nigma grinned widely, revealing a row of yellow-stained, yet straight teeth that glimmered with light from the screen he gazed at.

"Do you know of any _other_ inmate in your twisted little penitentiary who is ingenious enough to arrange this little chat?" Edward responded with an obvious rhetoric in his voice; he knew what the answer was, and if Strange were so smart, he'd know, too. Edward glanced back up at the screen eagerly, almost expecting Strange to guess wrong. However, Strange smiled dryly and remained motionless… Well, not quite. Edward's clear blue eyes caught slight movement as Strange swiveled back and forth slowly in his rotating chair.

"Narcissism," He declared. "A compulsive desire to prove his intellect," He stated as if Edward couldn't hear him. "And a predilection for riddles." Yep, that was Edward alright as he beamed with pride.

"You've read my file," He chirped in a happily sarcastic manner, plopping down onto the wooden floor not unlike a child.

"Of course."

"Good!" Edward exclaimed; indeed, anyone as intelligent as he was should be at the top of anyone's list of good reads as far as files went. He crossed his arms and leaned forward slightly. "Then let's get started," He said before tilting his head at the screen. "How do you attempt to understand what is going on in Arkham City when all of the answers are… Strange?" He pointed at the screen, giving him the satisfaction of making up a riddle without even needing to be watched.

"Is that supposed to be directed at me?" Strange replied nonchalantly. Edward rolled his eyes.

"If it weren't, I wouldn't have bothered telling it to you," Edward scoffed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other engagements. I'll leave you to marinate in that riddle." That was the last thing he said before a small static sound could be heard and Edward disconnected himself from Strange's wire.

Strange sighed; this was going to be a tough case.


	2. Taped Interview II

_Well, I'm sorry about this. OTL It's so short, yet... I feel like I might get more done this week alone. xD Anyway, I need to do another one of these and get off my lazy butt and work on my Scarecrow fic. Thanks guys for the reviews, they've been helpful with my writing. They're muchly appreciated!_

* * *

><p>Edward leaned back in his office chair, his combat boots resting next to a big keyboard that teetered nervously on the edge of a rickety table. He and the table were in the middle of what appeared to be an abandoned security room… that is, it was abandoned until the Riddler arrived and added his own little "flairs" to personalize; the room was now covered in giant-screen TVs and wires ran along the walls like lengths of ivy as the intertwined with another to reach their goals. The room, to an outsider, could probably have been called a mix between eerie and calm; a none-too-subtle green glow emanated from both the screens and several small bulbs that shone here and there. A quick glance behind his shoulder and Edward could see down a flight of stairs to a darkened chamber where only the faint gleam of railroad tracks sparkled with green light. To his left was another branch of the room where he had a complex-looking contraption on the blank head of a mannequin; that was for later and it was still in the workings.<p>

Edward opened a clear blue eye and glanced at a small clock on one of his screens as he ran a slender hand through his messy brown hair. He smiled and leaned forward, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a handheld radio. He fiddled with the small knobs and one of the televisions started to flicker as it turned to snow, then slowly focused on the bald scalp of…

"Good evening, Hugo," He said in mock politeness. He could see Hugo put down the pen he was using and look forward as if the person he was talking to was behind him and he didn't want to bother himself with looking back. "I believe it is time for our one-on-one," Edward said, looking down at an imaginary watch on his thin wrist.

"No." Strange replied shortly. "It is time for you to stop this and give up." He rested his elbows on his desk and intertwined his fingers, moving his head forward and resting his lip on his aging knuckles. "My TYGER guards will find you and when that happens, I will perform the procedure on you myself." He said calmly, yet dangerously. Edward, who had leaned back with apparent boredom, cast a half-lidded gaze to the TV screen.

"Procedure?" Edward asked, looking up as if remembering what Strange was talking about. "Oh," He exhaled sarcastically. "you mean what you did to all those poor fools back at the asylum," He snapped his fingers quietly as he examined the nails on his other hand. "To be honest, I think you did them a favour." He shrugged slightly as he caught Strange moving in his peripheral vision. Strange didn't move much, he just seemed to straighten his pose slightly.

"How do you..?" Strange started to ask incredulously, looking up slightly. However, Edward interrupted him.

"How do I know that you requested access to all the most…" He thought on it a second. "forgettable patients and proceeded to melt their brains with the help of that confused milliner?" He asked, motioning with his hand near his head to indicate a small explosion rather than melting; however, it served the same symbolism though he knew Strange couldn't see any of it. "Or did you mean," He plowed on, "how do I know that you have been providing the ex-warden with your own special medication, no doubt intended to render his synapses more… malleable to your suggestions?" He played with the word 'malleable' for effect. He glanced at the screen that viewed Strange. Nothing? Moving on.

"Or maybe you are currently wondering if I know about the secret panel in your closet," He said dangerously, glaring at the screen through the purple-tinted glasses that slid down his nose ever-so-slightly every time he moved. On the other side of the feed, he could see Strange's burly body stiffen faintly and Edward grinned widely, revealing his row of straight, yellow teeth. "How it slides back to reveal what you want most." He slithered. "How you sit, wearing that suit, crying into your hands as you question whether you are really worthy." He finished, going back to examining his nails and biting one absent-mindedly. A long pause and he saw Strange move again. Strange's hands uncurled and he placed them on his desk in tranquil fury.

"What do you want, Mister Nigma?" Strange uttered in a stunned, yet deadly voice. Edward smirked.

"Oh, that's easy. I want exactly what you want." Edward replied, perking up slightly, though still maintaining his easy-to-understand tone.

"And what's that?" Strange asked cynically.

"Batman. Dead." Edward shrugged again at the screen, brushing the aspect off as if it weren't a big deal. "Humiliated. But dead." He concluded aggressively before cutting the transmission, not giving Strange a chance to respond.


End file.
